PSA to newbies: There's nothing wrong with being wrong
RenegadeHealer > 10-06-2020, 04:43 PM
Since schools have shut down over the coronavirus, my wife and I have been homeschooling our 8 year old triplets. Yesterday I tried to impart an important life lesson to them: You're going to be wrong many, many times, about all sorts of things. Expect it. Any person's perspective on any situation is limited and biased. Other people will be clear about things you're fuzzy on, and vice versa. When someone else involved in that same situation offers you clarity, that's a gift, not an attack, and there is much to be gained from receiving it accordingly.
I had it drummed into me in graduate school and professional training that I should always be honest and realistic about the limits of my knowledge. I try to only state things authoritatively that I'm quite certain about. If I'm speculating and guessing, I try to phrase it in a way that makes it clear I'm not sure, and would welcome the input of anyone more knowledgeable than me. If I flat out don't know, I say "I don't know", and if it's my responsibility to know it, I'm quick to add, "Let me look that up and get back to you."
If someone has a problem with my lack of knowledge or certainty, that's their problem, not mine. I had one teacher who said sternly to me, "I think students shouldn't open their mouths unless they have the right answer." I strongly disagree. I didn't give him sauce, but nor did I sign up for any more tutelage from him, or give him good ratings. As far as I'm concerned, there's a special place in hell for any teacher who's willing to beat the curiosity, creativity, or genuine love of learning out of a student.
I got into the VMS because when I first saw it, it made my imagination run wild with possibilities. I'm sure this is the case for many, if not most, people who get into this mystery. It can be disillusioning to share these flights of fancy, and be told by people more knowledgeable than me that I'm probably not on the right track. But I'd rather know this now, than invest loads of work barking up the wrong tree. If somebody already thought of my idea, and ruled it unlikely based on what they know that I don't, that's something to be grateful for! I've tried to hold onto this early sense of wonder, of "anything is possible", that I first felt when seeing the VMS, while at the same time appreciating and integrating the slow-moving, painstaking, un-glamourous bottom-up approach that's likely to eventually solve it. It's not so much a matter of mixing romantic and rationalist thinking styles, but of knowing when to switch between them, and never mistaking one for the other.
During my time exploring this mystery, I've seen a lot of people show up with grandiose and well fleshed out ideas of what the VMS is, get their ideas criticized by people with different perspectives, and walk away with hurt feelings. Newbies reading this, don't be that guy. Only build and share what you're willing to see get knocked down. Or be honest and upfront that what you've built is a work of fiction. To anyone who's serious about solving the mystery, I highly recommend you share your idea early on, and be upfront about how rough your idea is. Don't flesh it out so much that you can't bear to see your brainchild dashed to pieces.
In the end, you have to ask yourself why you're attracted to the VMS, and what you hope to accomplish in exploring it. And understand that others have very different reasons, and bring very different backgrounds to the table. Go ahead, be wrong. There's no successful person who hasn't failed many, many times.