17-09-2025, 10:11 AM
"It was around 2025 when we discovered the spittle, and I believe that's when the mystery really started to unravel. The nymphs, thrashing about in the river with their entire bodies, had tasked one among their number with an essential task: stirring the liquids with 'a Scottish stirring stick used most frequently to mix oatmeal and porridge'. No researcher had at that point considered when the spurtle was invented, what it looked like in the 15th century or whether there are any historical depictions of the object. Such tedious analysis was altogether unnecessary, since the identification was welcomed by not one, but two (2!) people's mutually exclusive Celtic theories. The question of why a nude figure was depicted stirring a stream with an obscure Scottish breakfast implement had become irrelevant: it just made sense."


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