How to create a pseudo language in 13 easy steps.

[Jorge_Stolfi]

This just doesn't feel like a real language. Real languages have all developed a logical structure. The structure is typically based around the need to make speech effortless and light. The organs of the mouth cannot cope easily with pronouncing a string of discordant consonants, or shifting constantly between back and front vowels, so any cut-and-stitch attempt to construct an artificial language will not succeed. For instance, 'biqgbeqo' and 'bebeoaob' feel unpronounceable in any of the European language groups. They are too laboured, and require too many mouth movements.

There are a couple billion people on  the planet who will be quite surprised when they learn that what they have been speaking all along is not a real language:

    dān xióng jī wèi gān wēi wēn zhǔ bēng zhōng lòu xià chì
    bái wò bǔ xū wēn zhōng zhǐ xuè tōng shén shā dú bì bù
    xiáng tóu zhǔ shā guǐ dōng mén shàng zhě yóu liáng fáng
    zhǔ ěr lóng cháng zhǔ yí nì pí chī guǒ huáng pí zhǔ xiè
    lì niào bái zhǔ xiāo kě shāng hán hán rè hé yǔ zhǔ xià
    xuè bì jī zǐ zhǔ chú rè huǒ chuāng diān jìng kě zuò hǔ
    pò shén wù

So maybe this still could be a real language after all?

    poar keeo daiin qoair ar acphhey qoeedeody qokaiin
    qotedair apo rair apy lsheody tair oteey oteeo o l
    otaiin okeey qokaiin or aiir al dal sheeo daiin chsd
    qokeeey dair okaiin otaiin chedaiin olkal lkl dain doee
    okcheeo ltaiin otcheedy chor aiin odaiin chedy otaiin al
    kaishd laiin sheod okeeody qoaiin ytaiin otair chdal dy
    daim chdaiin ockhhy yshey ckhy sheo qoeeo lkaiin chs
    okol tchdy sheeey okaiin ar aildy cheody oaiir ain
    okshey

All the best, --stolfi